Can I Help? Part II
by EternalSoulmate
Summary: Derek was there for Casey when she most desperately needed him, but something's up with Derek and now he will barely talk to her. Even if he lets her in... can she help? Recommended that you read Part I first.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sad to say that I do not own LWD.**

**Can I Help? (Part II)**

_Rumours Revealed_

Derek and Casey more or less ignored the fact that the kiss itself happened, or at least that it was, in fact, a kiss. It was treated more of a statement than a kiss: They would not forget about everything they had just gone through with each other. They would not forget how they had acted toward one another, or forget about the talks they had had every night. They would have a new relationship, where they fought and verbally dueled… but also gave a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand.

They had deluded themselves the afternoon that Casey had broken up with Sam. They pretended that Casey would be 100 okay now. For those next few hours they believed it, because that's what they had to do, that's what they wanted to do. It had just seemed so promising. Casey had found her voice; she had found her confidence. In a perfect world, she would be fine now.

But the world is so rarely perfect.

And so Derek, knowing this, padded softly over to Casey's room that night and knocked on the wood of the doorway, leaning against it. She looked up from the book she was reading; knowing her, it was extra credit. She knew why he was there and gave him a somewhat tight smile.

"I'm okay now, Derek," Casey tried to explain to him. He was unbudging, taking a few steps in with his arms crossed. "Really… I am."

She hoped he would leave and go back to his room and take her word for it. So, she'd be a little disappointed if he _did_ leave- okay, a lot- but she didn't want him feeling like he was obligated to continue their nightly meetings. After her oh-so-shocking outburst today with Sam, she wouldn't be surprised if Derek really didn't feel that she needed them anymore. And anyway, maybe she _didn't_ need them any more.

Derek smoothly pulled her desk chair out, flipped it around, and sat down, resting his arms on the top of the back. He said nothing, only sat and stared, his eyes saying: I can wait _all_ night. Casey threw her arms up in frustration, still holding her novel in one hand.

"Seriously, I'm _fine_ Derek!" she insisted, just as adamant as he. Derek blinked and shook his head for a second.

"Okay, look," he started, his voice gentle, "I'm not saying you're not okay. If you say you are, then you are- and god, am I happy about that."

Casey gave him a satisfied nod and a somewhat smug half-smile.

"_However_," he continued, "I would still like to keep talking at night… you know, for me at least?" He grinned sheepishly, giving her just what she needed. He admitted that he enjoyed them too, that if he did it, there would be at least a little bit of selfish reason in it.

Casey grinned too and put her book down, her way of saying that it was okay and she'd like to as well. Yet, not ready to go into how she felt today after realizing how she had been feeling for so long, and unsure as to whether that that even had to be said, she scooted closer to him

"So have you remembered anything from that night yet?" Casey said in a way in which Derek could know that she was meaning it in a light-hearted way. Derek practically launched himself onto the bed in excitement, only partially faked to lift that little bit of gloom left hovering in the air.

"Actually yes! Guess what long unanswered question I finally found the answer to!"

"You really _are_ a test tube baby?" she jokingly guessed. Derek shot her a glare, but didn't respond with another insult. Grinning, Casey shook her head. "I don't know, what?"

Derek leaned in, and told her in a low voice, "I found out who started the rumour!"

Casey, forgetting the time, squealed causing Derek to quickly clap his hand over her mouth as he told her the rest, already knowing each of her questions. Apparently, he told her, sometime during the night he got to talking to some other kid who had got to drinking too much. The kid was cocky and was all too willing to talk about things that he had accomplished; he was very obviously a freshman who had wanted too much to be cool. Derek, not really having anything else to do (it was kind of nauseating trying to play hockey drunk, he found out), sat down and indulged the kid's desire for attention. It turned out that _he_ had started the rumour, and told Derek straight out- too drunk to see that he was talking to one of the people involved in the rumour!

Casey took his hand from her mouth and gaped at him. "Did he say _why_ he started it?" She could tell he was on the verge of laughter as he told her.

"Get this… he thought it was _true!_" he paused to check out the look on her face. "He heard a fraction of what we had said in the hall one day and thought that you were freaking out on me thinking that I was going to tell people that we slept together! So he figured, this is too juicy to just keep quiet about… why not exploit it for all the popularity points he could get? … anyway, so I made sure that he would stop saying it and tell the people he _had_ told that he was wrong." Derek shrugged.

Casey wasn't sure if she was ecstatic or angry! That little…

She glanced at Derek. He looked too happy for her to get mad. She should just be glad that it would finally be put to rest, and so she put on a smile and proceeded to have a very un-depressing conversation.

Today, she decided, ended up as quite a good day… Maybe it's the beginning of a better time…

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**a/n:** And there ya go kiddies! The beginning of Part Two! I hope that this part can live up to the first… now that I'm so distracted, I fear that it might not! Well, I guess we'll find out, eh:-)

Don't be shy, review!


	2. Strange

**Disclaimer:** As sad as it is, I do not own Life with Derek. Maybe someday.

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Strange_

When Casey woke up, she felt as if a weight she had carried for months had finally been lifted. Getting out of bed came to her easily; it wasn't an internal battle with herself to open her eyes, a fight with her body to move her limbs. She awoke almost with a smile, thinking about how she was finally free now- not only from Sam, but from her feelings that she had locked up inside of her for so long. They wouldn't control her anymore, she told herself, and willed herself to believe it.

She greeted Derek cheerfully at breakfast, raising a few eyebrows around the table. He barely seemed notice. He looked somewhat…distracted, or fidgety. She couldn't find any other way to describe it. His eyes wandered around the room, stopping on nothing longer than a second before moving on to something else. His foot tapped, causing his knee to bounce up and down. It was like he was expecting something to happen and he just couldn't stop moving until it did.

Casey tried to act like she didn't notice, but she continued glancing at him every few seconds. When George asked Derek, with a laugh, what he was so impatient about, Derek quickly said that he had to get to school, grabbed his bookbag, and rushed out the door. The others brushed it off and joked about how he probably had some date before class. Only Casey was truly concerned about his behaviour, but only Casey knew so much about him.

"Derek!" she called out to him, after taking her jacket and hurrying out the door after him. He didn't stop; he didn't even look back. Casey felt a pang of hurt by this, but pushed it out of her mind.

She jogged to catch up, grabbing his shoulder and practically forcing him around.

"What's wrong, Derek?" she asked concerned, but in a no-nonsense tone. She noticed that even now, he fidgeted like he _needed_ to move, like he needed to go somewhere or get something. The fact that he wouldn't look at her scared her. Why wouldn't he look at her?

He mumbled something, telling her that there was nothing wrong, he was fine.

She crossed her arms. "After everything, Derek, do you really think that I'd just accept that answer and walk away?"

Derek shrugged, still not looking at her. "Worth a shot," he grumbled, interested in a tree to her left for a moment, then a stone on the ground, then-

"Derek!" she called him to attention, seriously worried. "Look at me!"

Begrudgingly, shifting from foot to foot, Derek lifted his eyes to her face, to her eyes. And in those chocolate orbs of his, she saw something. Something she hadn't seen in him since the last time she flipped out. She saw fear. She didn't know what kind, and she didn't know why, but in a second, he blinked and it was gone. They were the same eyes, but now they were veiled, masked of their true feelings and once again roaming their surroundings.

Unable to stop herself, she nervously, "I uh… I didn't do anything, did I?"

Then, for the first time all morning, he stopped. All of his movements stilled and he lifted his face to look at her, and not just look, but _see_. He gazed into her beautiful, worried face and all his restlessness went away. His expression was shocked and caring, completely open and honest.

"No, Case…god no," Derek reassured her softly, his words warm with the comfort of his arms. She smiled a little, letting herself be relieved by what he had said, but only until her worry for him picked up again and she questioned him as to what it really was then.

"I don't _know_," he told her, confused and frustrated with himself, throwing his arms up. "I just…woke up and I couldn't get this _feeling_ to go away. I can't sit still, it's like I need something, but I don't know what! I-"

Casey couldn't stand seeing him worked up like this, worked up over a fight they were having, sure… but how he was now? No way. She wrapped her arms around him, throwing caution to the wind, caring nothing of the fact that they were in broad daylight, in the public eye. It didn't matter when she was witnessing the man who had taken care of her so often and so well upset like he was.

Derek instantly stopped talking and held her back, finding solace in her confidence. She radiated her belief that he was fine, that it would be okay if he just calmed down. And because of that, because of her, he did. With a deep breath, knowing that if they stood there any longer they'd be late and Casey would kick his ass for it, Derek pulled away gently. They needed to get to school, he told her, even though he would have taken all the detentions and Casey-ass-whoopin's in the world to just stay in her arms all day long.

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**a/n:** Hey kids, there is chapter two! Here's where Part II's plot really starts… Don't be afraid to review, even if it is some suggestions on how to improve this, etc, although I do hope it came out okay! Thank you everyone who has reviewed (and read!) so far. Oh and to AngelofMusic123 who asked how many parts the story will have- I'm thinking this will be the last one. But who knows, I hadn't expected the story to end up going into two parts…maybe there'll be a third. It's way too early to tell, so I'll just say only two parts :-P

-hands out apples- For all my lovely reviewers :-D


	3. Answers

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Life with Derek…. At least you know what to get me for Christmas! ;-)

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Answers _

He went through his classes without hearing a word. Sounds, sounds he heard. He heard the volume of each teacher yelling at him to sit still, to pay attention, but the sentences themselves never seemed to fully reach him. It was like there was a filter between his ears and his brain, letting through the sound waves by not their meaning.

His feeling of being unable to stop moving had increased three-fold, getting worse as each class passed. His movements became jerky and more rapid. In one class he tapped his pencil so incessantly and hard that it broke, startling him and causing him to knock over his books. The teacher, having already given him two previous warnings, got fed up and sent him out of the room. Annoyed, Derek swept up his books and stormed out, somewhat thankful for the freedom from the room. It was getting suffocating in there.

Where he was supposed to go, he really didn't know. Technically, the teacher had never really told him to go to the principal, and he _really_ did not want to take it upon himself to do so and have to sit in another, much smaller, room. So, he did what most boys did when they were sent out of the room without specifics- he headed for the guy's bathroom.

Derek threw his books down next to a sink and gripped the porcelain tightly. He needed to get a grip on _himself_, he was going out of his mind today. Maybe if he knew what his problem was it wouldn't be so bad, but he _didn't_. He had no idea, not even an inkling of an idea, because really, he couldn't even think to _form_ an idea. Frustrated, finding that he was tapping his foot, and now his fingers, he slammed on the tap and threw cold water on his face.

"Wow, you look like _shit_, man," a voice laughed. With a jump, Derek turned to find Jeff leaning against the wall a few feet from him. Still with the residue of that laugh, Jeff added, "Yeah, well I guess I wouldn't feel so hot after the party the other night either…"

Derek stiffened, and suddenly things began to click. All it took was one sentence, one sentence and he knew that how he was feeling today had something to do with what happened at the party during the Lost Hours, as he had called them to himself. And he wanted answers; he wanted answers, and he didn't want to dally or dance around them or have to _wait_; he was so sick and tired of waiting. He felt as if the day was a year and he had been waiting that whole year for the one answer that the boy in front of him could have.

He snapped, he couldn't be rational, he couldn't think or form subtle sentences and questions. He just rushed over to Jeff and grabbed his shirt, shakily by strong.

"What happened at the party?" he demanded, his impatience coming out as anger. Jeff didn't answer; he only stared at Derek as if slightly amused and expecting of his outburst. Derek couldn't take the silence, the wait, more waiting. He pulled the other boy forward, then slammed him back into the wall. "_What did you do to me?_"

With a chuckle, Jeff plucked Derek's hands from his shirt and calmly said, "I didn't do anything to you, man."

Derek shoved a hand through his hair roughly and began pacing, two steps to the left, back two steps to the right, left, right, left. Watching him, calculating the silence, Jeff spoke, with a sly grin, words that Derek desperately wanted to hear.

"I think I know what would make you feel better."

Derek bit his thumb nail, borderline violently, looking at his friend with such huge, trusting, desperate eyes and watching Jeff's hand disappear into his pocket. It felt like hours were passing, waiting for Jeff's hand to reappear with some miracle cure to this awful feeling he had been plagued with all day. Then, when Jeff's hand finally emerged, Derek's hand dropped from his mouth, his expression hardened, and his usual guard flew up.  
Grasped in Jeff's bony fingers was a small, clear bag, filled with what Derek was pretty sure was heroin.

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**a/n: **I know, it was a short chapter… sorry! Even so, I hope you enjoyed it. Oh and to sballluvr5 who called what was going on, a nice big bowl of M&Ms…or the candy of your choice…or an apple if you don't like candy… or a different fruit or vegetable if you don't like apples:-D Thank you all of my readers and reviewers… you keep me going. :-)

Don't forget to review… I love to hear from you!


	4. No Way to Deny

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek… Ah, but if I did…  
**

**Can I Help? Part II  
**_No way to deny_

Derek lifted his chin, his eyes locked on the bag.

"What are you doing with that?" he asked stonily, his hands clenching and unclenching. He couldn't tear his gaze from the little bag, couldn't stop his mind from repeating four words Jeff had said: _make you feel better…_ The words whirled around Derek, spiraling from him to that bag, sucking him in, keeping his attention on the potential of that little baggy.

Somewhere far away he could hear Jeff answering him, as if it was just common sense. "I knew you'd be pretty hard up by today… figured you'd come to me, so might as well be ready to help a friend."

Derek felt himself being hypnotized, spiraling, spinning, but the need for answers tugged pestily at his mind. "What exactly are you saying, Jeff?" Derek murmured, distracted, unable to look away. Somewhere in his mind the wheels really were turning, he was thinking, connecting, praying Jeff was just pranking him… but in that somewhere, he was also smart enough to know that he wasn't. This was real, his connections were right; he couldn't brush it off pretending he didn't know. If he got Jeff to say it, he couldn't act like he had no idea, because then he would have no doubts and he would have a witness.

"Derek, man, you don't remember? You used pretty heavily the other night. Seriously, if somebody did as much as you did and _didn't_ look as shitty as you after three days clean, they'd have to be a fucking saint or something. Even if it was their first time," Jeff demolished his ability to pass it off as untrue, forced him to recognize it as a fact.

He could feel the world crashing down around him; everything was breaking, falling, smashing… only that little bag in his friend's hand stayed in tact, calling him, telling him it would keep him safe.

"So do you want some or not," Jeff was growing bored with their conversation now, Derek could see. Part of him wanted to reach out and grab the bag before Jeff got annoyed and put it away; his hands were itching to do so, his body was aching to have the drug in its system again. It wasn't until Derek actually found his hand moving toward the bag that he pulled himself together, at least enough.

He couldn't. He wouldn't. He'd done stupid things in his life, sure, but to add drugs to the list… that would be too much. He was better than that, stronger. When he found himself wavering, telling himself no, he wasn't stronger than that, he remembered Casey. To give in, to be so stupid all over again, would be a monstrous thing to do to her. And so, he dropped his hand back to his side, shoving both of them deep into his pockets to chain them down, and he told Jeff with disgust to stay away from him.

Yeah, he could do this. So, he was having some trouble paying attention in class, and he had a rather unattractive slimy shine to him right now, but that wasn't so bad. Besides, it couldn't last too much longer… He was sure he'd be fine by tomorrow, two days max. He could wait it out, he could handle it; he could handle anything. After all, he was Derek Venturi.

Clenching his jaw, he walked out of the bathroom, trying to save the tiny bit of dignity he had left.

-

That night Derek lay in his bed, staring at his ceiling, willing himself to stay still. He was exhausted, but still his body wouldn't let him rest, wouldn't let him drift off into a painless sleep. He jumped at the sound of his door creaking, and looked over to see Casey peaking through the slightly open door.

"Derek?"

Casey came and sat on the edge of his bed at first, hesitant to sit fully and comfortably knowing how irritable he had been all day and doubtful as to whether he actually wanted her there. Not that she would leave if he didn't, but she didn't want to push any boundaries.

"What's going on today, Derek?" she asked him softly. She was a smart girl; if she wasn't blocking her sense from coming to the front of her mind, she would know what was going on. It was something she didn't want to associate with Derek, so unintentionally it was something she wasn't going to associate with him.

Derek wouldn't look at her again. Part of him wished she would go away; he couldn't talk to her, not now, not when he was such a mess, such a disgrace. She shouldn't have to deal with him and his stupidity. And the things finding the truth out could to do her… He couldn't chance it. He could deal with this on his own; it was his problem.

Casey saw the resolve in his eyes, but she was just as stubborn as he was. She set her chin, and prepared to get him to talk to her, to find just the right words to get him into a comfort zone. He could trust her; she only wanted to help him the way he had helped her.

"Derek," she murmured, moving closer to him. "You told me once that you wanted to be there for me, but I had to let you first." Derek could see exactly where she was going, exactly what she was doing and he was determined not to give in. For her sake, he kept reminding himself, for her sake I have to keep this from her. He let a shade drop down in his eyes, cutting off his emotions from being seen, and let his hearing drift.

"Derek I want to be here," she told him, pleading. "I want to help, but you have to let me! What happened?"

He kept his stoic expression as best as he could. He studied the door, the ceiling, the corner, all the while small droplets of sweat were forming along his hairline. Then, unwillingly, his eyes darted to the mirror on the back of his door and he saw the scene from other eyes. Here he had a beautiful, amazing girl _begging_ him to let her help him when he, pale and sweaty, obviously needed it. And yet he sat, expressionless, practically twitching with his body's need to use.

Vaguely he heard her sigh, felt her hug him gently, and leave his room, telling him that she would always be willing to listen.

Despite how badly he had wanted her to leave, he felt so goddamn alone when she did….

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**a/n: **I'm so sorry the update took so long… October is an insane month… November is here though, so all is well… I'll be having a bunch of days off so as long as I finish the paper before them, I should be able to get to writing this fanfic! I swear I'm not forgetting about it, I just haven't had ANY time…. and then I was having a series of technical problems (my internet stopped working… then fanfiction decided to not want to upload this chapter :-( ). I hope this plot hasn't been too much of a turn for you guys… I love hearing from you. Thank you to my readers and reviewers… you brighten my day!


	5. Faltering Resolve

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek. It's on my Christmas list.**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Faltering Resolve_

Cold sweat covered his body and the bags under his eyes were darker than ever, having not slept for two days. Going on three days after he had told Jeff to get lost, Derek was starting to lose his resolve. His body had begun to ache to the point that he found himself hugging himself tightly and whimpering. He was so pale that when Casey had seen him, she cried out and thought that he might pass out.

He was terrified now that Casey might catch on, might force herself past the fear of affiliating Derek with drugs and see what was really going on. She had started telling him to see a doctor. It was at the point that she almost brought it up to Nora that Derek had started to avoid her as much as possible. He felt terrible that he was leaving her on her own like he was, but he couldn't bear to let her see him. Right now, he knew that he was going to have to get his act together before he could see her, talk to her, daily.

"Jeff, I…" Derek faltered, sputtered, stopped. His teeth were grinding together, his bones felt as if they were being filed on all sides; he hadn't even wanted to get out of bed. Jeff turned around, and looked at him in faux-shock.

"Derek, I thought you never wanted to see me again!"

Derek set his jaw and his eyes sparked. That had just reminded him, just fed his need to stay away, and he turned, went to walk… But Jeff spoke again:

"Wait, man, I'm sorry," Jeff's voice sounded sincere, real. Derek turned back, almost surprised, but guarded because he was confused. "Look, I don't want to see you hurting like this, so my offer stands. I can spot you some, just to help the pain, ya know? I've been there, I get it."

Derek had his eyes narrowed as he tried to figure Jeff's motive out. He couldn't find one. How could giving away part of his stash help Jeff in any way? He saw his guard being let down, saw himself almost falling into Jeff's arms in relief. He was going to take the offer. He was going to feel better.

"How uh… how do I do this?" Derek asked nervously.  
Jeff stopped himself from making a smart remark, remembering that Derek knew nothing about the time he had done it before.

"Well," Jeff answered, trying his best to be patient. "Depends on what you want to do… you can inhale it, swallow it, inject it…."

Derek had other questions: what did he do at the party? What was the 'safest'? What should he _do?_

But he was too impatient; he hurt too much; he craved it in him and he knew the fastest method. So, the only other question that came out was:

"Do you have a needle?"

-

"Hey, Case," Derek strolled up behind her, slinging his arm around her shoulders. For some reason, Casey noticed, he seemed …better. He wasn't nearly as pale and sweaty as she had seen him the past few days and he seemed much more at ease and mellow. If she had really looked, however, she would have noticed that his eyes were glazed over and he still wasn't quite Derek, but in a different way now.

"You seem better!" she remarked with surprise and cheer. This was the first time he was voluntarily speaking to her since that day he first started acting weird. It gave her hope and lifted her spirits a bit that he had just randomly come up to her like this, casually as if nothing had ever happened.

….at the same time….

Why was he ignoring that something had been wrong?

Was he going to tell her, talk to her? Maybe he just wanted to wait until after school…

But what if he just wanted to act like those few days didn't exist?

Thought after thought began to attack her peace of mind to the point that she couldn't even let herself enjoy the fact that Derek was not only walking with her to class, but he had her arm around her. Oh god, what was she letting her mind get her into?

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**a/n: **I know, I'm being terrible with the updating, but I swear I'm still thinking about the story! Every day I'm unable to write is a sad one. I know this chapter is short, but I'll update again during the weekend to make up for it. Hopefully I'll get to write a bunch more in the next few days… however, I've been kind of stupid and put off my English paper too much. :-X Well, we'll see.. anyway, I hope you enjoyed it… and I hope you guys aren't losing interest! That would make me muy sad :-(  
Thank you to everybody who reviewed… Placebo CDs to you all! Just because I got to see them last night and it was amazing and everybody should know the love of Placebo. :-D


	6. Pieces

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek… Santa knows what I'M asking for.**

**Can I help? Part II  
**_Pieces_

Casey She not only didn't understand what had happened over those last few days, but she didn't understand what was happening now. Derek seemed so…weird, lately. He would have moments where he was fine, or as close to fine as he had been in a few days, and then he was snappy and restless again. She knew that it wasn't her, that this was in no way something she had done… and yet, the knowledge didn't stop her from feeling as if she _had_ done something, as if this was, in fact, her fault.

"Derek," Casey hopped over to him after school with a smile on her face. "You ready to go home?"

Derek jumped at her sudden appearance and ripped his thumb from his mouth where he had been biting his nail. "Casey, I'm busy," he snapped, watching down the hall. She followed his eyes, but didn't find anything that he would be looking at.

"You… don't look busy," Casey tried to keep her voice cheerful, but it was smaller, less sure now.

"Yeah, Casey, well I am," he whipped around. She shrunk back, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and hurt.

He turned away and continued biting his thumbnail.

She turned away and ran out of the school.

-

He hadn't meant to be so …mean. He hadn't meant to, but he had been; he wasn't able to control himself. He just needed Jeff to show up before he went absolutely mad. He hadn't had a fix since last night and he was starting to feel it.

But the look on Casey's face….

He closed his eyes, as if to block the image from his mind, and then slammed his hands into his pockets in frustration.

Where the hell was Jeff?

-

Casey had stopped running once she rammed through the door of the school. She wiped furiously at her eyes, which were beginning to water against her will. Kicking the ground, she let out a frustrated cry. She wanted so badly to just run back there and _hit_ him until he apologized and told her what was going on with him. He was _hurting_ her. She could feel herself breaking, albeit the pieces were not forming into as small of pieces as last time she had broken, but they would… they would if something didn't change. She wasn't strong enough on her own yet to deal with this. She still needed him.

Casey grabbed a branch from a bush she was walking past and tore it off, trying to contain her emotions in some way. But the tears started flowing and she was ripping the branch to pieces. Dropping to her knees she put her hands on her knees, leant over and cried.

-

Jeff finally showed up and Derek almost pounced on him.  
"Do you have it?" he questioned eagerly, wiping at his mouth, shifting from foot to foot.

Jeff pulled a baggie from his pocket and raised his eyebrows. "You have my money?"

Derek pulled his wallet out, distracted, and hurriedly slammed some bills into Jeff's palm and stared at the baggie longingly while Jeff counted the cash.

There was a moment, before the needle touched his skin, before he pushed down the syringe shooting heroine into his system, when he thought of Casey. He thought of what he was doing to her, how she must be feeling right now… He remembered his love for her. He clenched his jaw and blinked away tears. It was so sad, so _wrong_, that his love for Casey was so overpowered by his body's need for heroine.

Then he plunged the needle into his arm and it all went away.

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**a/n: **I know, it's another short one, but hey- this is two updates in one week! That must be worth something. :-P Anyway, the next chapter will DEFINITELY be longer.

And my apologies to those who aren't liking the drug-plot-ness. It won't last throughout the ENTIRE story… so rejoice! And keep reading and reviewing:-D

Baby Ruth's to all my lovely reviewers!


	7. Changes

**Disclaimer: I have yet to own Life with Derek, but one can always dream!**

**a/n: **Okay, so the lateness of this chapter isn't COMPLETELY my fault… fanfiction..net decided to hate me and not let me post it for days after I was ready to!

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Changes_

Different variations of that same occurrence happened again and again, forcing Casey to close herself off to it. Despite the repeated rejection, she kept trying, seeing that he was slipping farther and farther away and refusing to let him fall all the way down. Edwin, Lizzie, and even Marti could see the change in Derek, and Marti was hurt by it the most because she wasn't old enough to even begin to understand it.

One day she had charged into Derek's room the way she always did. She wanted to say goodnight and get a piggyback ride to bed. It was like her Smerek wasn't there anymore. He yelled at her to get out of his room, said she was a spoiled brat and needed to learn how to knock. She ran out crying. Casey stopped her and knelt down next to her, while Marti cried and told her that, "Something's wrong with Smerek." Casey hugged Marti, picked her up, and carried her off to bed, telling her that it was okay, Smerek was just in a bad mood lately, it wasn't anything Marti did.

It took a lot of Casey's energy not to storm into Derek's room herself and yell at him for making Marti cry. Instead, she forced herself to remember that he would never have done that before; in fact, he would beat whoever yelled at Marti to a pulp, had it been a few weeks ago. The more she thought about that, the more worried she got and the harder it was for her to lay off him a little and give him some space. She would try every day to talk to him, but only once and when it didn't work, she would walk away and wait until the next day.

However, as more time passed, she became more persistent. She knew something was seriously wrong. He was losing weight, almost constantly grumpy, quick to fits of anger… He just wasn't Derek anymore. She found herself crying at night at the thought of what he was becoming. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Even the kids at school had begun losing respect for him, while at the same time their fear toward him had grown. He was a bit of a lose cannon now… you had to watch what you said around him, lest you piss him off just the slightest bit and you had a fist in your face.

It was after school and Casey had just found that Derek hadn't shown up to hockey practice where she had been waiting for him. Apparently, his coach told her, he hadn't been showing up for quite a while now and he was about to lose his spot on the team for good if he didn't start coming. That was the last straw for her.

"Derek," she said his name as a demand, a demand for his time, for him to actually listen to her, as she barged into his bedroom without knocking. She was too angry to notice his panicked fumbling as he shoved the drugs under his comforter.

"Doesn't anybody _knock_ in this house?" he asked angrily

"I don't like what's going on with you. I've had enough of it! There's something seriously _wrong, _Dere… I don't know what it is, but it's there and I'm really worried! We _all_ are. Please… we only want to help… Just let us help!" she cried out to him, yelled at him, pleaded with him. She had so many feelings ping-ponging around inside of her, so many she couldn't grab hold of, coming out jumbled in her words. There was mist in her eyes and a storm of confused emotion in her words, but the only thing it did to Derek, it seemed, was set him off.

He laughed bitterly. "You want to _help_? _**You** _want to help?" he sneered, standing up. There was something malicious in his tone, in his attitude and Casey could feel herself inwardly shrinking back, but outwardly she held her stance determined. "That's funny Case… 'cause last time I remember, you couldn't even help yourself!" Casey was shocked, but he wasn't finished yet. "'Oh Derek! I'm not strong enough, I can't do it! Help me, Derek!'" he raised the pitch of his voice, mocking her, his eyes fiery.

She was crushed… she felt so helpless and low and worthless. He turned away, forcing a hand through his hair angrily, shaking. She couldn't stay in the room anymore; she couldn't be near him… there was just so _much_… so much going on inside of her that the only thing she could feel to do was back out of the room and run out of the house.

He wanted to run after her. He wanted to cry out to her to stop, he was sorry, he hadn't meant it! But he found himself just standing there, turned around, listening to her footsteps run, run, run away, softer and softer until the door slammed and he heard nothing else. Frustration swept over him like a massive wave and he yelled and kicked and pushed everything around him until he collapsed in a heap on his bed. He buried his hands in his hair, clutching at it and breathing hard. How could he be so terrible to her? How could he just let her go like that?

Overwhelmed and upset, he sat up as much as he could to do the only thing he could think of. He reached under the comforter shakily and pulled the tourniquet and ready syringe out. Tears were spilling from his eyes, he could barely see. He fumbled as he tied the rubber around his arm, and had to try three times before he was able to get it. Wiping at his nose and choking back a sob, he tried to get the needle in place. Inside, he knew how wrong it was, what he was doing. He knew how much he was hurting the people around him, and how much it was hurting him. He just couldn't _stop._ He needed it.

"I need it…" he mumbled, barely audible, and yet his hand did not stop quivering and his tears did not stop falling. Casey's face, her pain and devastation plagued his mind. He imagined where she could be right now- crying, alone… or worse, she could be dead.

He began shaking harder at the thought of losing Casey. And it came to him… he didn't need the drugs. He didn't. He needed _her_. He needed Casey, and he was losing her. And now because of the poison he continually shot into his veins, he hurt her and she might very well be gone.

With that, he forced his arm to let go of the needle, to take it away from his skin. He didn't want to do this anymore, he didn't want to hurt Casey anymore. He took all of the willpower and self control he ever had and used it to throw the syringe across the room. He could hardly hear it as it shattered against the wall through his own thoughts and sobs. He wouldn't hurt Casey anymore… he wouldn't. With that, he curled up into a tight ball on his bed and lay there, breathing hard and trying with all his might to calm himself down.

When Casey ran from the house she felt like she was dying, like her whole body was imploding and collapsing in on itself. Her lungs felt as if they would not work; she couldn't seem to get enough air. Her heart was being squeezed by the massive hand of Truth as Derek's words repeatedly rushed over her and through her until she just… couldn't move anymore. She stop running and fell to the ground ready to let the world end inside of her, ready to let Truth win and squirt all of her blood out until it oozed through Its fingers and down Its arm.

She couldn't help herself. She merely heard _words_ that hurt her feelings and she was on the ground, unable to think, to move, to do anything but feel this inadequacy deep inside of her telling her how weak and useless she was. Her breath was quickening and her body was shaking, but she didn't fight it. She gave into her feelings, this dreadful feeling, wholly and completely. She screamed her sobs, let herself shake and her tears become rivers. She cried and didn't force herself to stop, didn't make herself swallow the emotion and move on; she merely gave in and _felt_ it.

Then, she began to come back to herself. Her sobs quieted and her quaking stopped. Her brain began to roll again and her heart resumed its normal pace. She sat back and wiped her face. Something in her felt… resolved. Better. With the tears she washed away everything. All of the insecurity, the pain, the fear, it all flowed away. She was okay.

Part of Casey wanted to laugh. She had just dealt with her own emotional problem on her own without dying. She hadn't thought she had that ability; she had been so reliant on Derek. Maybe, she thought, maybe she was stronger than she had believed. Sure, she hadn't dealt with it _calmly_ but what she did seemed to _work_. She had just let it out…

"Excuse me, miss," an older man walking past stopped. "Are you okay?"

Casey felt a smile slide across her lips. "Yeah," she replied. "Yeah, I'm okay." All by herself… she was okay.

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**a/n:** Here's a long chapter for you! However, I feel I must warn you… I'm having terrible writer's block lately, which is part of the reason why this chapter took so long to get out and why next chapter might be late as well. :-( Please don't hate me! I promise I _will_ post the next chapter! I hope this chapter was up to par, and thank you everybody for your reviews. They seriously make my day! Apples and pears to you all! Or maybe Brian Molko-in-a-box? …Only if you leave a REALLY good review. ;-)


	8. Giving in and Getting in

**Disclaimer: I have never owned Life with Derek… but let's leave out the "will never", shall we? ;-)**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Giving in and Getting in_

Derek woke up breathing quickly in a cold sweat. He hadn't even known he had fallen asleep until he awoke, shaking, aching, and wanting to cry. It hurt so bad… he wanted so much to grab his stash and get a fix. So he didn't have any more needles, there were still other ways.

Too bad he flushed it all last night after he decided it wasn't worth it.

Earlier that day had been bad enough, he had thought. It had been much like the first time he'd felt withdrawal, only then he hadn't known what it was. His skin had risen into goose-flesh and his eyes kept watering. He couldn't stop moving, couldn't think of anything but how much he wanted to shoot up.

He curled up tighter and whimpered. He had flushed it for a good reason. He knew that he wouldn't be strong enough to last the night, the next night, the one after that, that he would go running to the drugs to save him from this pain. And he would've done so and continued to ignore the other pain in his loved ones he was causing.

Derek tried to ignore it, tried to just will it all away. He hurt everywhere. He hadn't even known he could hurt the way he was. His teeth clenched painfully, his nails dug into his skin, but it didn't even come close to matching the pain from his withdrawal.

"I can't, I can't, I can't," he groaned quietly and sat up shaking. He couldn't do it. He gave it a shot, but he just couldn't do this! It felt like he was dying!

Cold and sweating, he rubbed his arms as he tried to get his shoes on handless.

He fumbled with his doorknob and swung the door open hurriedly.

"Derek?" Casey's voice floated through the air, confused on her way back to her room from the bathroom. Her voice was soft, careful not to wake their siblings, but to Derek it felt so loud, like she was shouting at him.

His eyes shot up to her, practically blind in the aching in his bones. He tried to greet her casually as if nothing was wrong, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was a pained moan.

"Oh god," she rushed over to him, letting her robe fall open. Derek might have taken pleasure in noticing her light tanktop and shorts had his knees not given out at that moment. He fell into her arms, practically knocking her backwards with his weight.

"Derek, what's wrong? Derek?" she sounded close to tears in her panic. He was so pale, deathly pale…

He clutched at his stomach as he attempted to get up. "I have to go," he murmured barely audible and shuffled a few more feet before falling into the railing by the stairs. That was enough for Casey to cry out and clasp her hand to her mouth.

"You aren't going anywhere, Venturi," she whispered harshly. "You can barely even walk!"

"I …have to…" He started to cry and sank down, leaning against that same railing.

Her expression, before a combination of anger and worry, now became complete concern. "Just talk to me, Derek!" she pleaded with him for the thousandth time. She knelt next to him, expecting nothing but excuses from him, or even silence, and for a few seconds silence is what she got. Then, suddenly:

"I can't, Case!" he blurted, tears falling, hands violently grabbing at his hair. "I made the mistake of my life and it hurts and I'm scared I'm going to do it again and again and again because I can't _do_ this!"

Casey was taken aback by this, this sudden openness with her, but she asked no questions, just wrapped him in her arms and let him cry.

"Shhh," she crooned, stroking his hair gently. He clutched at her shoulders, her clothes, her arms, her waist roughly and she let him, knowing that he needed the feeling, needed to feel her there and see that he wasn't alone. "You're not alone," she whispered to him softly. "You're not alone anymore. I'm here."

Now, she looked down at him as he lay in his bed. When his motions had finally calmed slightly she had coaxed him to get up and crawl into bed, helping him as much as she could. He was still shaking, even under her gentle caress, but now his eyes, which had been in such a wild panic before, were closed. God, how she wished his breathing would return to normal.

"Case," he whimpered, his eyelids fluttering open.

"I'm still here," she reassured him softly. He reached up and weakly pulled her closer to him. Trying her best not to disturb him, she slid under the covers with him and cradled his curled up figure. She was trying so hard to just take the pain away, but every time he whimpered or groaned in the agony he was feeling she knew she was failing. It hurt him so badly that _she_ could feel his pain.

Casey squeezed her eyes shut and sighed. She held him, hoping his shaking would stop, praying that she would be strong enough to have strength for him too, and knowing that if it meant she give him all she had, she would stick by him.

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**a/n: **There is absolutely no excuse for not updating in so long. It has merely been due to lack of inspiration and many, many distractions. All I can say is that I'm sorry and I hope you all haven't given up on me! Hope this chapter is up to your expectations. )


	9. Pain and Frustration

**Disclaimer: If this plotline ever shows up on LWD, then you'll know that I finally own it. Until then, all I can do is dream.**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Pain and Frustration_

All pride, all sense of dignity, was lost as he sobbed in her arms, then turned and felt his insides twist as he retched loudly and painfully. He didn't know how much longer he could do this, this agony, this sickness. For days he got no sleep, no rest. Derek could barely remember what it felt like to be healthy and relaxed. Even a shadow of his old self couldn't be seen anymore.

Casey did all she could to help him. She stayed with him fully for the first few days, ignoring the part of her that wanted to scream over the school she was missing. She knew that Derek needed her more, so she never left his side. Then her parents came into it.

She had fed them a story, reassuring them that he just had the flu- it was going around school this time of year. Ever since her one big lying incident, the one in which her whole family had gotten involved, she had vowed never to lie again, but for Derek's sake she reneged on her pledge and did the best damn lying she could. And she got away with it.

She was able to play sick for a few days, then go to Derek's room to take care of him. The first morning, after that last fitful sleep he'd gotten, he had tried so hard to act strong. He had gotten up, dressed, and was going to try to go to school before she stopped him. He looked a second away from his death bed, pale and sweating. He tried to protest.

_"Casey… move, I'm fine," Derek shifted his bookbag on his shoulder. Casey wouldn't move from the doorway._

_"Derek, you're not fine. Look at you, you can barely stand!" she whispered loudly. He was becoming visibly annoyed and, crossing his arms trying to look 'Derek', he asked her again to leave him. When she wouldn't move, he tried to shove past her._

"_Stop! Derek! I'm not letting you go!" she cried out, struggling to keep him in the room. "You just want to go so you can shoot up, and you know it!"_

_Derek froze, then fell back into the room bewildered and defeated. He hadn't even consciously realized his reason for school. He hadn't though; he had just known that he needed to go to school today. And Casey stood against him and protected him. _

_He didn't cry, he just sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the ground with the same look on his face. Nothing had to be said; Casey gently moved him to lie under his covers and brushed her hand across his cheek as she left the room. That slight brush gave him the strength he needed to not completely break down, and more importantly, the strength he needed to not bolt out the door_.

The rest of the day, there was not one tear or argument from him. He bared his burden as he felt a man should: silently. And still Casey never left his side.

Progressively the days got worse. Derek's resolve began to break down as the pain become more intense. It was those days that Casey's support was vital. And it was those days that Nora and George finally decided that Casey had to start going to school again.

"Case, wow you're back," Emily greeted her, surprised. She shifted her backpack on her shoulder. "Are you okay? I mean, you never miss school."

Casey tried to smile, listen, answer, but somewhere along the conversation she must have missed a step because before she knew it she had no idea what Emily was saying and Emily knew it. At an expectant, raised eyebrows look from Emily, Casey forced another smile, put her hand on her head and told her that she must not be up to 100 yet. Then she gently pushed past Emily and went to class.

She might as well had not gone to school; she got no work done. All she could think about was Derek, his pain, his will, and the look of desperation on his face when she left for school that day. When she had gone in to say goodbye, he had masked his emotions in a very typical Derek way. But after she had left his room, she turned back for one last word. She had looked in on so much raw, unchecked emotion, such agonizing pain that if Nora hadn't pushed her out the front door this morning, she would never have left the house. School couldn't end fast enough.

And she was quickly finding that it was going to live up to that impossibility.

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**a/n:** I know this one was short, but the next one will be longer… and more eventful. I just had to show how Derek was doing and Casey's role. I think I'm starting to get back on track now. It shouldn't be too long until my next update …but some of that depends on the reviews and motivation I get! ;-)

A great big thanks to all my readers and reviewers out there. You're wonderful and if it wasn't for you, I would have abandoned this story long ago! (I have a pretty short attention span and almost no patience for writing xP) I hope you're enjoying it!


	10. Save me

**Disclaimer: Waking up sucks… in this world, I don't own Life with Derek.**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Day and Nightmares_

When she saw him, she was pretty sure her heart stopped. Sure, she knew that he wasn't going to disappear forever. In fact, there was no reason for him to disappear at all. She just hadn't thought about it. She had stood up to him and he had left. Ideally that would take him out of the story, out of her life for good.

But he wasn't.

He was right in front of her. Fine, breathing, walking… walking toward her.

Ohgod, he was walking toward her.

Casey panicked and turned, knocking somebody's books from their arms. She didn't look back. She didn't help the student pick up his books. She just ran.

School wasn't over yet, but she burst through the doors like there was a murderer chasing her. She couldn't stay in school a second longer knowing that he was there. She just wasn't ready to handle that yet- especially without Derek by her side to give her strength. Yeah, Casey knew that she could deal with the usual stress and bothers alone, but Sam? Could she deal with a run-in with Sam without support? Merely seeing the boy who had helped cause her to breakdown countless times almost sent her reeling into a very unwelcome frenzy. No, she couldn't talk to him, or let him talk to her. Not yet.

And so she just kept running until she was free from school property, as if that cleared her of him. Knowing she couldn't go home, Casey plopped down onto the bus stop bench weakly. Thoughts were coming at her like bullets from a machine gun, piercing her brain and paralyzing her.

Then she heard a motor, the squeaking of brakes, and the swish opening doors. She looked up to see the bus, the driver looking at her expectantly. Without thinking, she climbed aboard. It's not like she had anything else to do, with a few hours left of school and nowhere to go.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" an older woman next to her asked. She expected to see the face scolding and disapproving, but when she turned she found that her eyes were laughing. Casey wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously, but said nothing. She wasn't sure that she could if she wanted to.

"Ah, I remember the old days when I did things like that… I would skip school to go to a film… it was always cheaper in the daytime," the woman continued, reminiscing. She turned and looked at Casey, and somehow Casey felt that the woman could see right down to the deepest of her emotions. "Boy trouble?" she inquired after what could have been minutes, but was probably seconds, after looking into her soul.

Casey continued studying the ground, but this time she replied. "It's a little more complicated than that," she muttered.

That was all the woman said, and subsequently, all that Casey said as well.

Casey looked up at the squeaking of the brakes and boarding of new passengers. Her breath caught in her throat when a teenage boy climbed the stairs. His shaggy blonde hair, that stupid, ugly hat… She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the image away, knowing it wasn't real, it couldn't be real. When she looked back she found that she was right, it wasn't him. Sam wasn't following her; she was being ridiculous.

"You can't run away forever," older woman next to her said strongly. Casey whipped her head toward her in surprise. How did she…?

The shadowing of the woman gave Casey the chills, but she couldn't tear her eyes from the woman, couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something.

"But that's what she always does. Run, Casey, run, run!" It was Lizzie, standing next to her in the aisle. Casey was about to open her mouth, say something, find out what Lizzie was doing on a bus in the middle of the school day, when Lizzie's voice wasn't Lizzie's anymore, but her mother's.

"Run, Casey, run, run!" Nora cried to her, and then Casey wasn't on the bus anymore. She was five again and Nora was pregnant. Casey's dad had come home drunk and furious about something. He hit Nora. Casey watched terrified as her mom fell to the ground. She watched as her father kicked her in the stomach. She watched as her mother cried and screamed for Casey to run.

"Run, Casey! Run!"

Then her dad turned and stared her straight in the eyes. But it was Sam.

"There's nowhere to run to Casey! You can't run away from me!" he snarled at her, with smug confidence.

She was sixteen again, and now in the Venturi house but Sam's menacing stare was still on her. She turned to run, run up the stairs to her room, but then Derek was on the stairs. He was leaning heavily on the rail, looking whiter than snow with dark circles around his eyes. His breathing was ragged.

"Save me, Case. I'm dying."

Casey tried to scream but no sound could escape her lips. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she clasped her hands to her mouth. She didn't know what to do; she took a step back, down a step, then another.

Derek was right in front of her then, in her face. "You never were strong enough," he sneered at her. "You're too weak to help yourself. How did you expect to help me?" He looked as if he was going to embrace her in his strong arms, but instead he shoved her, throwing her down the stairs.

When she looked up, he had a needle in his arm and he was walking away. Sam was stalking toward her. They both laughed coldly, manically. Then Sam put his hands on her.

Casey woke, a hand on her shoulder. She screamed and smacked the hand away, jumping back and falling on her butt in the dirty aisle. She was shaking, terrified, but when she looked up she didn't see Sam. She was still in the bus. It was the old woman who had been sitting next to her.

"You fell asleep, honey," the woman told her. "You were having a bad dream."

Casey touched her face. It was soaked with tears.

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**a/n: And so concludes another chapter… I admit, I KIND OF like this one. I can only hope that you, my beloved readers, do too. This (if you liked it, that is) is my apology for such a crappy chapter last time. But thank you to all of you who reviewed and were so kind… it kept up my morale! xP  
**


	11. Fly

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. **

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Fly_

Casey quickly found out, after she had woken up, that she had missed every chance of getting a bus back to town. She realized she had slept much longer than she had initially thought, because the driver announced the end of the ride. Everybody off.

She didn't know what to do. It was dark and cold, and this was a town too far from her town to walk home. She was scared. But afraid as she was, she was Casey- stubborn and proud. So, holding her head as high as she dared, she folded her arms over her chest and started walking in the direction she hoped was home.

"Look at that pretty little bird!" a cheerful woman exclaimed.

"A peacock. All vanity. All on the inside," a gruff voice answered, almost angrily.

"But so pretty!" the other voice said gaily, lightly.

Casey turned. There was only one person, an elderly woman covered in rags and dirt. Casey shrunk away and picked up her pace.

"Can't fly- a peacock can't fly."

It was the woman, husky and menacing.

"Why can't it? It looks so nice! It don't gotta fly!" Airy.

"Everybody gotta fly." Angry.

Casey was near running, trying to put as much distance between the people- woman- as she could. She had just begun to slow when the mad voice floated to her one last time.

"'Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.'"

She broke into a sprint.

She ran past parked cars, alleys of shadows and lurkers, innocent walkers. She ignored annoyed cries of people she pushed out of her way, and calls from worried citizens. She couldn't stop. If she stopped, something would happen, someone would get her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was probably making a scene, but the streets were empty enough that it wouldn't be a big scene. She just wanted to be home.

"Mommy," she sobbed into a dirty old payphone under a streetlight. Shadowy trees and an empty road surrounded her. The silence was eerie, broken only by her shuddering sobs and gasping cries into the phone. Nora dropped everything she was doing at the sound of her daughter's terrified voice.

"I'm on my way," was all Casey needed to calm down enough to hang up and pry her fingers from the receiver. She rested her head against the side of the grimy booth and took a ragged breath. She needed to get a hold of herself, pull it together before her mom got there.

She closed her eyes, turned and took one more cleansing breath. Swallow the fear and move on. Then she opened her eyes.

The woman was there.

"_Fly!_"

When Nora found her, Casey was huddled in the corner of the disease ridden phone booth. Her shaking bordered seizures and her hands were tangled in her hair, clutching, pulling, trembling.

There was no sign of the other woman.

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**a/n: **I know, this chapter was both short and strange… I was going to make it part of the previous chapter, but I had wanted to put that chapter up before I had this all written. The next chapter is more normal, I promise. Well, I hope you liked it anyway.

**- that line is from Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. **

**In fact, the idea in general was borrowed from there. I just finished the book, it was on my mind. **

I love to hear from you guys!


	12. Want to, Need to

_Want to, Need to_

To say that Nora was worried was an understatement. Seeing her oldest daughter shaking and sobbing in a dirty telephone booth in a strange, slightly shady town terrified her. This was her Casey, her logical, responsible, control-freak of a daughter Casey… and suddenly Nora could see that she wasn't in control anymore.

Nora didn't know what to do; she felt utterly in over her head, having never had to deal with something that felt so serious before and having never gone through a similar situation in her own youth. She decided she would talk to George, as soon as she got Casey home safe.

When Nora came in with her arm around Casey in support, most of the family ran to the entranceway of the house. While Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti got to bombard them with questions and show their concern for Casey, Derek could only watch from the stairs. He wanted to run down the stairs and take Casey in his arms, caress her hair, whisper in her ear… He wanted to get to her right _now_, not wait until everyone else was done. But he was too weak to go downstairs, and he was avoiding seeing anybody other than Casey lest they decide he needed to see a doctor.

So, Derek waited as patiently as he could manage to hear: _Let's leave Casey alone; I think it's best if she washed up and went to bed._

A pair of footsteps on the stairs, the squeak of springs, the soft voice of a concerned mother… then a door shutting and footsteps down the stairs. Derek crept, or rather dragged himself, to Casey's room and knocked softly on the door.

No answer.

"Case… Case, it's me."

When she didn't answer, he let himself in. His heart broke when he looked at her. She was laying across her bed still dressed in her dirty, wrinkled clothes. She had dried tears along her cheeks, but her expression was absolutely vacant, as if she wasn't even there. Without hesitation, Derek went to her bed and took her up in his arms, not knowing what else to do. He wanted to help her the way that she has helped him, but without knowing what was wrong all he could offer her was physical comfort and hope that it did something.

But Casey had no reaction; she lay limp in his arms as if she hadn't even comprehended she had moved from her previous position. Derek kissed her hair and rubbed her back.

"Case… it's going to be okay. Whatever it is, it'll be okay. It always is," he murmured against her hair as he held her. Then slowly, her arms wrapped around him and she took a deep, shuttering breath. Derek smiled, relieved, and took a shaky breath of his own. He had been scared. He had been very scared. Vacant and empty was something he had never seen Casey as before. He had seen her broken, scared, hurt, but never empty.

His eyes started to tear up and he sniffled. Casey looked up at him. "You're not going to cry, are you? …. Don't cry! You'll make me cry!... God, you're so … impossible," Casey smacked him and her voice cracked. They both laughed a little as they cried together, holding each other tightly.

"We're quite the pair," Derek chuckled, wiping his eyes.

"Yes, we are…" Casey's voice trailed off when she found herself staring at his lips. Their eyes connected.

Derek raised a hand to her cheek and cupped it gently, then brought his lips to hers. When he tried to pull away, she whimpered and pulled him back to her more forcefully. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried a hand in his soft hair. Casey went after him hungrily, moving so that she was on his lap straddling him.

Derek pulled away from her as gently as he could, considering she wanted none of his resistance.

"Casey…" he had to hold her wrists tightly.

"Hmm…" she murmured with her eyelids half shut. She tried to kiss him again.

"Case, stop," he said firmly. "We can't do this… not right now. Not when you're like this."

Casey pushed away from him with force and Derek suddenly hated how he had turned into someone 'responsible.'

"But I _need_ to Derek!" she explained angrily and she tore away from him. "I need it! I need _you._"

Derek sighed, wanting to punch himself in the face for what he was about to say. "I don't want you to do this because you NEED to, Casey. I want you to when you're ready, because you WANTto."

Casey sighed and her body relaxed. She put her head on his chest and her arms around his body. "I do want to," she whispered. She kissed his chest and looked up at him, and he had to say, fuck responsible. He wanted this too.

And so, he bent his head and captured her beautiful lips with his own and made her whole again.

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**a/n:** Okay, I know it's been MONTHS… I can't even express how sorry am I about that. I haven't written in … well, in months so I'm not sure how well this chapter came out. I hope it came out okay though, and I'd love to hear from you guys and see what you think.

And a MILLION AND TEN thanks to all of you who have continued to stick by me when I've gone MIA. -gives them fluffy bunnies-

xD


	13. Real

**Disclaimer: If, by the end of this chapter, I can get Derek to say that I own Life with Derek, then I win!**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Real_

"George… we need to talk about Casey," Nora said to her husband, climbing into bed that night. "I'm really worried about her, Georgie."

"I'm worried about Derek too… Maybe we should schedule a doctor's appointment," George replied, putting down his book.

"She normally so strong and in control of herself. You should have seen her tonight, George. I've never seen her like that. It was … scary." Nora put her head down on George's shoulder.

"How long does it take to get over the flu, anyway?"

"Do you think we should call Paul?"

The married couple continued on this way, each talking about their respective child to the other and getting nothing concrete done. They meant well, but they were both too wrapped up in their own worries about their own child to actually help each other out and come to a solution.

Meanwhile in Casey's room, Derek stroked Casey's hair lovingly. She snuggled closer to him in her sleep, and he slid his arm down from her hair to hold her. Looking around the room, he couldn't help but chuckle. Two years ago he would have said it was impossible. One year ago, he would have bet and made it his mission. Now, he was laying beneath the covers in Casey's bed, naked beside her. It wasn't for money. It wasn't for props. It was for love and it was real.

It wasn't until they were both awake and getting dressed that he realized something. He hadn't had the shakes or the sweats since he had entered Casey's room hours ago. Not in the heroine withdrawal type of way, at least.

He looked at the clock. It was one in the morning. Casey had gotten home around 8:30…

Derek looked up at Casey with a disbelieving smile. Casey pulled on a pair of sweats and plopped down next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "What?" she asked with a smile of her own.

"I haven't thought about shooting up in five and a half hours," he told her with a grin. Casey moved back to look at him with approval.

"That's great, Derek! I'm so proud of you…" she exclaimed, crushing him in a hug.

"Me? It was all you!" he laughed, getting the air squeezed out of him. "You're the only reason I wasn't thinking of it… I was too busy thinking about you."

He kissed her gently, then pulled away and said slyly, "Not to mention touching you…"

Casey smacked him playfully, before surrendering to his arms again.

"You helped me too," she told him quietly.

"I can see life in your eyes again…" he said softly, tracing a finger down the side of her face.

"Because of you."

"You have it inside yourself, Case. I just wish you could see that. I mean, as amazing as I do know I am," he joked, "you don't need me for you to have strength. You don't need me for you to be alive."

There was a silent pause when Derek could almost hear Casey's internal battle as to whether to tell him or not. Then, as casually as she could, she said, "He's back in school. I saw him today."

Derek inhaled and tried to find something to say. So that had been what led to her breakdown. He should have known.

"Did he talk to you?" he asked her, a forced calm evident in his voice.

"No.. he started to walk toward me and I bolted out of the school." Casey paused. "I'm so pathetic," she laughed joylessly and pulled away from him, running her hands through her hair.

"Casey. You're not pathetic," he told her, moving closer and putting his arm around her.

"Yes… yes I am. I can't even see him without flipping out, even now!" she argued, pulling away from him again and standing up.

"Look, Case… You've been stressed lately and that's making you vulnerable right now," he tried to explain to her, standing up. He was pleading with her to understand, to calm down, to be okay.

Casey looked up at him. "I know… I know, but I thought that … I don't know, that maybe I'd be able to _handle_ something so _stupid_ by now. I hadn't freaked out like that in weeks! I- I- Just- AUGH!"

She threw her arms up in frustration and let Derek hold her. It had been the other way around for so long that she had almost forgotten what it was like to have him take care of _her_… how nice it was to just give herself up to the help of someone who loved her. All her life she had been the one in control of everything, and that's how she liked it. But when it came to this and when it came to Derek… she didn't want to be the one controlling everything anymore. She wanted to let him help her. Not relinquish all control, just stop being such a freak about it. That was the amazing thing about being with him. She could be partners with him, not just fight for power over _everything_.

Well, sometimes fighting for power was fun.

And they _were_ still Casey and Derek… So despite everything, Casey was sure that once they both got back on their feet, they'd be a little more… competitive with each other. All in good fun of course.

But for now they weren't quite on their feet. Knees maybe, and working their way up. Derek was finally experiencing a break in his withdrawal and Casey was opening up to him again… things were getting better. And Casey couldn't wait until everything was perfect.

-+-+-+-

**a/n: **  
_Me: So…  
Derek: You still don't own it_.

….

Shucks.

**Disclaimer: What Derek wants, Derek gets… and Derek doesn't want me to own LWD…**

But anyway, I'm a little disappointed… only three reviews for that last chapter! Was it not that good, or are ya'll just lazy? xP But despite the lack of response (which is probably my fault, for putting this story on hold for so long), I still love you guys. So make me proud, and get me past 100 this chapter! xD

And I want to thank **Latisha C**, **Ashley McCoy**, and **Robbie84** for liking me (oh, and the story) enough to review (especially Latisha C, since she's reviewed almost every chapter)! Thank you so much guys, you saved this story for the rest of them. :-)


	14. Normal

**Disclaimer: Life with Derek owns me- I mean, Life with Derek doesn't own me… I mean, I don't own Life with Derek!**

**Can I Help? Part II**

_Normal_

"This is a big day, Derek," Casey said quietly with suppressed excitement, her arms around him. The morning sun shone through Casey's bedroom window. The two of them stood in their pajamas on a Monday morning, a few days after they had decided they were "officially" together.

Derek tried to squirm away and roll his eyes. "It's no big deal, Case… it's just school," he told her, holding his hands up, exasperated at the deal she was making of it.

"_Just_ school? _Just school?_ Derek!" Casey smacked him lightly. "It's your first day back after _how_ long? It IS a big deal!"

"Casey! It-"

"I'm so proud of you," she murmured, pressing her lips to his in a chaste kiss. Derek's expression changed instantly.

"Well…" he started, wrapped his arms around her. "Maybe it's _sorta _a big deal…" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She just smacked him playfully and pushed him out of her bedroom saying that she still had to get dressed. "Okay, okay," he surrendered. "But I get the bathroom first!" With that, he sprinted out and off to the bathroom.

"No! De-RECK!" she cried out in frustration, only to be answered with his muffled laughter from behind the closed door. Still, she couldn't help but smile a little as she picked her clothes out for the day.

Downstairs, Nora and George heard Casey screech at her stepbrother and looked at each other.

"Should we…?" George started.

"No," Nora said, shaking her head. If there was a problem between them, she was sure Casey would come racing down the stairs to complain about it… why go to her? Then something dawned on her.

"Georgie… How long has it been since you've heard that?" Nora asked him.

George continued to read his paper and sip his coffee, then answer distractedly, "I don't know, a few weeks…" a lightbulb went on "since before Derek got sick. Do you think he's finally…?"

But before he even finished his sentence, Derek came bounding down the stairs. A wet towel flew at his head and Casey's voice followed, "Augh! You're so- GROSS!"

Nora and George watched, happy to see their living dead son more of the living and less of the dead. Derek plopped down at the table. "So, what's for breakfast!" he said obnoxiously. "Ed! Get me some breakfast!" he called over his shoulder. When Edwin didn't appear, he looked around and then at George.

Nora swallowed her excitement at seeing him healthy again and answered, "Edwin and Lizzie had to go in early today… It's good to see you up and running again, Derek."

"Mm," he grunted, disinterestedly, searching the cabinets. Finding the cereal, he filled his bowl and poured milk on the giant mound. He was just finishing stuffing his face when Casey pranced down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mom! George!" she greeted cheerily. Nora looked over at George in surprise again, this time at seeing her daughter in such a good mood. She had been getting worried since the other night because, even though Casey hadn't had any more episodes, she hadn't been completely Casey either.

Just when Casey went to grab the cereal, Derek stopped her with an 'uh-uh!' She gave him a look. "Bus is leaving, princess," he teased, walking to the door and dangling the keys over his shoulder. Casey made a strangling action with her hands, let out a frustrated cry, and stormed out after him.

Nora and George chuckled to themselves, each sipping their coffees, delighted that things finally looked normal again.

-+-+-+-

**a/n: **I know, this is a really short chapter. I wrote it really quick in between my paper, reading my school book, and cleaning my room, so if it's not up to par, I'm sorry! I just had to put something up and this is as far as I could get in the time I have so I hope you enjoy it. I'll keep writing whenever I have the chance, and don't forget, I put up my progress (and my excuses) in my "bio" when I can't post a new chapter.

My thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! **Latisha C** I can't believe you went back and found that chapter you didn't review! Honestly, you should get an award for reviewing every chapter. I really appreciate it.

And **ummbo **you are the official 100th reviewer! Thank you for reviewing, and for the love! xP

**ShaynelovesCONVERSE** I have to give you a personal shoutout too because you were so close to being reviewer 100! I'm flattered that you feel my stories actually have some purpose. Thanks so much:-)

And of course everyone else! I love to hear what you think, but you know that by now!

Much love kids… I think my a/n is as long as my chapter lmao. That's how much I care!. xD


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